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6 months Post partum and Zero libido

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gigi421 Posted: Tue, Feb 14 2017 6:05 AM

I thought this would be a timely post given it's Valentine's day, haha.

I'm almost exclusively BF (typically 1 bottle in the evening, if at all).  Getting pretty good sleep.  Just not in the mood, ever.  I feel really bad for DH.  We would be 100% ok with another pregnancy given our previous issues, so it's not anything to do with that.  Hoping it's hormonal and will pass, like so many PP issues.

Anyone else have this problem? Did your libido eventually get back to normal?

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luv1mo replied on Wed, Feb 15 2017 4:55 PM

Oh yes, this is 100 percent normal. Between the hormone fluctuations, the constant touching from a baby (or babies), and the exhaustion, this was 100 percent true for me. My body was not my own and it certainly wasn't available to my husband on any schedule he would have liked.

It's hard to say when it improved... maybe closer to a year? But I'm sure that's different person to person, and depending on other stressors in your life. My three were all so close in age that nobody was sleeping any real stretch until about two years after the birth of my youngest. In my experience, sleep is 85% of any picture.

Hang in there. 

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weimlover replied on Wed, Feb 15 2017 6:09 PM

Completely normal! I was so freaked after having our twins because I had never not felt like having sex like AT ALL. It felt weird for a while (internal pulling feeling) and I just didn't enjoy it at all until around 9/10 months when I weened my twins from breastfeeding. My doctor assured me it was all normal and would return but I was so freaked! Then one day my DH and I were doing the deed and it was enjoyable and felt like before babies!!! 

 

 

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hb12red replied on Wed, Feb 15 2017 9:55 PM

Yes, very normal I think. I don't remember how long it took, but I feel like around a year? I think when baby is nursing a lot and you are holding them half the day, it is enough sensory input that I don't want more, even if it is different.  

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scarlet_willow replied on Thu, Feb 16 2017 8:05 AM

It's pretty typical, at least from my experience. Give it more time and try to accept it as a natural, temporary stage. As the baby gets closer to a year old and relies less on your breast milk, you will see an improvement. And until then, sometimes try to just go with it. You may find that you can get in the mood with the right setting ;)

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lava2 replied on Thu, Feb 16 2017 8:26 AM

Yah, I'd echo what everyone is saying. It's just a bunch of factors that will lower the sex drive: your body isn't totally your own, there's fatigue, hormones, etc. I also would underscore what scarlet_willow said; I probably would have not had sex for months but gave it a try and the first time pp was weird, then the second time was fine, then the third time I remembered why I liked it! I do think that the good sex endorphins can actually help with other pp hormones stuff too - probably this is not backed up by science, just my anecdotal evidence ;)

Remember to be patient with yourself and that unfamiliar pp body!

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gigi421 replied on Thu, Feb 16 2017 10:09 AM

Thank you all for the reassurance.  I have gone with the flow a few times and it has been pretty good (although nothing like pre-baby).  It's just tough getting over the mental hurdles and letting go (not to mention DS has an uncanny ability to detect any type of activity and cue crying, lol).  Hopefully once DS weans it will get better.  In the meantime it is nice to know it is normal and not something wrong with me.

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krislin replied on Thu, Feb 16 2017 1:30 PM

Yup, exact same situation here! I'm 9 months postpartum and just a tiny bit interested again, which is new in the past couple of weeks.

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Heather678 replied on Thu, Feb 16 2017 4:07 PM

I haven't read the other comments yet but I want to say it is 100% normal and something that I wish they would tell you about more. "They" need to assure you it's normal but they also need to assure you that you WILL go back to "normal". After I had #1 I was so revolted by the idea of sex for months and months. I think at 7ish months I finally started to get back to normal but probably 8-9 months officially. After my 2nd, it was much faster! I think a big part of it apart from the hormones is just your brain and emotions - it's so hard adjusting to having this new life to care for and keep alive, and that's where all your emotions and brain power are going, you have nothing left for sex. It'll pass!

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mimigrace replied on Tue, Feb 21 2017 12:24 PM

I've never really had zero libido, but I did feel like something was wrong with me from about 6m pp to a year because I just wasn't enjoying it as much. Even that got better and I think it was mostly due to exhaustion from a baby who didn't sleep, etc. I agree with the others who said to keep trying. I tell DH that I'm always tired, but I'm usually willing to be convinced :-)

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NorthStar replied on Wed, Feb 22 2017 1:47 PM

Nursing kills my libido also. I nursed my kids for a longgggggggg time. 

 The less mine nursed as they got older the more my libido returned. I had to remind my husband that I really loved him and hormones have a strong effect on those things. :) We've made it through seven years of nursing. I hope it improves quickly for you. 

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